Wordmail

Loose Lips

Enchantment — Aura

Enchant creature
As Loose Lips enters the battlefield, choose a sentence with eight or fewer words.
Enchanted creature has flying.
Whenever enchanted creature deals damage to an opponent, that player may say the chosen sentence. If they don't, you draw two cards.

First Come, First Served

Enchantment

Each attacking or blocking creature with the lowest collector number among attacking or blocking creatures has first strike.

Form of the Squirrel

Enchantment

As Form of the Squirrel enters the battlefield, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token. You lose the game when that creature leaves the battlefield.
Creatures can't attack you.
You have shroud.
You can't cast spells.

Circle of Protection: Art

Enchantment

As Circle of Protection: Art enters the battlefield, choose an artist.
: The next time a source of your choice with art by the chosen artist would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage.
: Return Circle of Protection: Art to its owner's hand.

Drawn Together

Enchantment

As Drawn Together enters the battlefield, choose an artist.
Creatures with art by the chosen artist get +2/+2.

Look at Me, I'm R&D

Enchantment

As Look at Me, I'm R&D comes into play, choose a number and a second number one higher or one lower than that number.
All instances of the first chosen number on permanents, spells, and cards in any zone are the second chosen number.

Staying Power

Enchantment

"Until end of turn" and "this turn" effects don't end.

Little Girl

Creature — Human Child (1/1)

"Ach! Hans, Run!"

Enchantment

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may say "Ach! Hans, run! It's the . . ." and the name of a creature card. If you do, search your library for a card with that name, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. That creature gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step.

Curse of the Fire Penguin // Curse of the Fire Penguin Creature

Enchantment — Aura // Creature — Penguin (0/0)

Enchant creature
Curse of the Fire Penguin consumes and confuses enchanted creature.

Curse of the Fire Penguin Creature

Trample
When this creature dies, return Curse of the Fire Penguin to the battlefield.

Name Dropping

Enchantment

Gotcha — If an opponent says a word that's in the name of a card in your graveyard, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return that card to your hand.

Farewell to Arms

Enchantment

As Farewell to Arms enters the battlefield, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm.
When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.)

Now I Know My ABC's

Enchantment

At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control permanents with names that include all twenty-six letters of the English alphabet, you win the game.

Yet Another Aether Vortex

Enchantment

All creatures have haste.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.

Zzzyxas's Abyss

Enchantment

At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy all nonland permanents with the first name alphabetically among nonland permanents.

Ambiguity

Enchantment

Whenever a player plays a spell that counters a spell that has been played or a player plays a spell that comes into play with counters, that player may counter the next spell played or put an additional counter on a permanent that has already been played, but not countered.

Bosom Buddy

Creature — Elephant Townsfolk (1/4)

Whenever you cast a spell, you may gain ½ life for each word in that spell's name.

Necro-Impotence

Enchantment

Skip your untap step.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay X life. If you do, untap X permanents.
Pay ½ life: Exile the top card of your library face down. Put that card into your hand at the beginning of the next end step.

Topsy Turvy

Enchantment

The phases of each player's turn are reversed. (The phases are, in reverse order, ending, postcombat main, combat, precombat main, and beginning.)
As long as there are more than two players in the game, the turn order is reversed.

S.N.O.T.

Creature — Ooze (0/0)

You may have S.N.O.T. enter the battlefield stuck to another creature named S.N.O.T. If you do, all those creatures form a single creature.
S.N.O.T.'s power and toughness are each equal to the square of the number of cards named S.N.O.T. stuck together to form it. (One is a 1/1, two are a 4/4, three are a 9/9, and four are a 16/16. If you manage to get -1 S.N.O.T.s stuck together, it's a 1/1.)